Clear and Confused

School days: after 5th class it will be 6th class... vacations after every major exams... holiday for fixed festivals... fixed time table for a year.... a fixed roll number among fixed number of students in a class for a year...

Professional days: after this company don't know which company.... vacations have to planned using the 15 paid leaves i get in a year... festival holidays are dependent on company policy... no fixed timing and no fixed plan... employee id remains the same, but name keeps moving up in the attendance sheet at the reception....

Choices have increased a lot... but left me nowhere... I am CLEAR of what I have in front of me... but I am CONFUSED about which option to choose. ... huh.... once we cursed god for not giving any choice to choose, no we complain we got too many choices... may be life is meant to be like this.

Simple Question and Big Confusion

The simple question is:
Am I being loved by someone or Am I in love with someone.?

The confusion is:
Both "someone" are not the same person.

I can't ask the first someone whether she loves me, because she might think her behavior raised such doubts in me, so later she wont behave in the same manner as she behaves now.

I can't propose the second someone, because if she expected a clean friendship out of me, then I will be losing a very good friend in my life.

About my status.... I can't say anything....

Is there any alarm clock embedded in me?

How many times u would have woken up before ur alarm clock starts ringing... I don't know about others, but I am waking up exactly 2-3 mins before my alarm starts shouting. I don't have any important appointment or I don't have any urgency to get up and rush to office. Its just a daily routine to keep an alarm. Now, I keep thinking.... is this any kind of disorder?. How many people would have been affected by this ???. The biggest twist adding to this confusion of mine is.... if i dont keep an alarm i dont wake up at the correct time....... :(

Friends Forever.....

I had a blind belief that feeling that friendship between a boy and girl will diminish slowly once the girl gets married. As time went by I realized its a false belief I had.

My best friend got married into a very orthodox family. There was huge list of written rules and infinite non-written ones. After getting to know this I thought that its the end of our friendship. She called me up a month after her marriage, at that time I spoke to her hubby also. He said if at all I feel like to speak to my friend I am welcome to call after 10:30pm to his cell phone, becayse thats when he reaches home. Recently, he invited me for dinner which was attended by his friends circle also. He made me sit next to him in the dinner table and introduced me to all his friend's and their wives. What a nice friends circle he had... everyone mingled just as if they know me for years. Lucky me and lucky my friend to get such an husband.

Another good friend of mine, got married to an USA alliance. After school days, she was the one who used to update me everything happening among our friends. When she was leaving to USA, she gave the task to me and said she will call me once in a month. I never thought it will happen. Surprisingly, she called up almost every month. Recently, they relocated to India permanently. We went out for a dinner, it was a job treat given by her husband.... :). Since she is back in india... she is taken her job back of collecting news from all frens. She is another lucky girl of my highschool batch...

The list goes endless... out of 18 girls in my school batch... I am almost in touch with 10 of them... we still call and have a nice time discussing about others... Whenever I think about these things... I do believe that god is there to hear our prayers.... :)

How About A Book?

I don't know whether its right or wrong.... A confused mind always thinks, its life is worth a book. What say?

A strange thought struck such that, I started to consider it very seriously. May be not so soon but surely in near future you can find my book in market. I have already created a rough draft of the whole flow inside the book. Let me give a glimpse of what it is all about....

My book comes under philosophy but certainly its not all about fundas, because i myself have scolded few authors who just ask us to do something to feel happy.... i myself consider them as bull shit. My concept is entirely different rather something new which I feel no one would have read in any book. It will be filled with examples, interpretations, questions and hints, which means answers are upto the person who reads it.


First example: 10 athletes run a marathon race, there are only 3 medals. Still, all the athletes try to finish the race. Few people stop running once they lose, but few don't. Now, lets analyze what makes people run and also find out why should they run?

Second example: A guy loves a girl very seriously, the girl is none other than his good friend. He also knows that girl will never accept him as his life partner, due to her personal reasons like family, culture and society. But still, the guy behaves as a good friend to her.


Now, this is the whole concept all about... I am not planning to tell all the sad stories and make people show sympathy on those people who have lost their race. I will concentrate on why a person should still run a lost race. Thinking of a lost race is always painful, but assuming that you are still in the race is a better feeling.

If you want to know how i will make people realize that they can still run in the race, then you have to wait for my book to hit the marker.... :)